The scene--a bar on the station. Master Mospheiran sits at a table with a glass of vodka, an imitation hot-dog, and fries. There’s a bag at his feet. Scattered around at various tables are other humans, many of them staring intently at handheld video games emblazoned with the words Golf Deathmatch in bright red. A young man enters the bar, sees Master Mospheiran, and heads over to his table.

Master Mospheiran: "Hey, Algie, what’s up?"

Algie: "Not much. That new game is driving me crazy, though. You tried it?"

Master Mospheiran: "What, you mean Find the Spud? No. I got a look at it, but I just didn’t see the appeal."

Algie: "Man, it’s hard. I’ve been at it for days, and I’m still on the first level."

Master Mospheiran: "Why do you keep at it, then? Seems like it would be pretty frustrating and not very fun."

Algie: "I don’t know, it’s just addictive, I guess. It gives you something to think about. Every time you miss, it gives you a new message. Like, just before I left my quarters I got one saying, "What is a potato, if it isn’t a potato?" That’s like, so deep."

Master Mospheiran: "When is a door not a door?"

Algie considers this in silence for a few moments.

Algie: "Wow. That’s so deep. I bet you’d be great at this game. Hey, so maybe you can help me out. What is a potato if it isn’t a potato?"

Master Mospheiran silently offers Algie a fry.

Algie: "Thanks."

Algie takes the fry and eats it.

Algie: "Hey, that was good. I think I’ll order some myself. So, can you help me?"

Master Mospheiran: "No, Algie, I don’t think I can."

Algie: "Oh, well. What about the door?"

Master Mospheiran: "What door?"

We hear a brief computer-beep jingle from across the room and someone yells, "I got it! I made it to Level 3!" There are general congratulations from the bar patrons.

Algie: "Hey, maybe she can help me." (he turns to go, then turns back again) "Wait! I almost forgot! Are my socks ready?"

Master Mospheiran: "They sure are."

Master Mospheiran reaches into the bag and pulls out two pairs of beige socks.

Master Mospheiran: "That’ll be twenty, all together."

Algie: (calling out to the bartender) "Sammy! Give Mr. Mospheiran here twenty off mine."

Master Mospheiran:  "God, I feel like my dad when people call me that. Go sign the transfer and order your fries."

Algie: "Your wish is my command, Master. That better?"

Master Mospheiran: "Not by much."

Algie goes to the bar and signs. He returns to Master Mospheiran’s table and picks up the socks.

Algie:  "So when is a door not a door?"

Master Mospheiran: "You really don’t know?"

Algie:  "I really don’t know. I mean, if it’s a door, how could it not be a door?"

Master Mospheiran reaches into his bag and pulls out a container.

Master Mospheiran: "Do you know what this is?"

Algie: "Sure I do. It’s a jar. So next you’re going to ask me when is a jar not a jar, huh?"

Master Mospheiran: "When it’s a door."

Algie: "I don’t get it."

Master Mospheiran: "Your fries are up."

Algie: "Hey, great!"

Algie goes over to the bar, picks up his fries, and heads towards the woman who found the spud. Master Mospheiran finishes his fries thoughtfully. A woman enters the bar, looks around, and heads over to Master Mospheiran’s table.

Alison:  "I hear you’re the man to see about socks."

Master Mospheiran: "That would be me."

Alison: "Where’s your partner?"

Master Mospheiran: "He’s in the infirmary. He broke his leg this afternoon."

Alison: "Oh, that’s too bad. Are you going to have to stay in with him while it heals?"

Master Mospheiran: "No, administration figured there was no point keeping me from work while he’s healing, so he’s staying in the infirmary under supervision. So, you need some socks?"

Alison: "Yeah. I’m down to my last pair. What do you charge?"

Master Mospheiran: "Ten a pair."

Alison: (frowns) "I don’t have a lot of cash right now."

Master Mospheiran: "We don’t take payment until we deliver the socks. And if you’re really strapped for cash, we might still be able to make a deal."

Alison leans over and whispers in Master Mospheiran’s ear.   Master Mospheiran’s eyes open wide and he blushes furiously.

Master Mospheiran: "For a pair of socks?!"

Alison: "For four pairs of socks."

Master Mospheirans eyebrows go up even farther as he considers this.

Master Mospheiran: "Um. No. I don’t think so. Station administration would close us down if they ever got wind of it."

Alison: "I won’t tell if you won’t."

Master Mospheiran:  "No."

Alison opens her mouth to speak.

Master Mospheiran: "No."

Alison: "Jerk."

She turns and exits the bar. Master Mospheiran drinks the rest of his vodka.

Master Mospheiran: "I can’t believe I just did that. I am such an idiot."