The Mospheirans

Episode 23

The scene--the legitimate human bar on the station. Master Mospheiran and Bob sit at a table eating supper.

Bob: "Well, you know, I can’t say I blame her for being annoyed. I would be, too. It’s really pretty creepy. I mean, your sister is pretty and all, and I like her, but ‘a really delicate flower’ isn’t what I’d say about a girl who could kill me with her bare hands in five minutes flat without breaking a sweat."

Master Mospheiran: "You’re exaggerating a bit."

Bob: "I don’t think I’m exaggerating at all. Still, this Josh guy is pretty delusional. And I don’t get all these girls who think he’s so sensitive and romantic."

Master Mospheiran: "I guess it’s because he’s writing poetry for her. Everybody thinks writing poetry for a woman is so romantic. They don’t seem to care whether it’s any good or not."

Bob: "I don’t think they’ve heard her side of the story, either, I guess. They only hear his, since he’s on the radio all the time."

Master Mospheiran: "Yeah, I think you’re right."

They eat silently for awhile.

Master Mospheiran: "You ever write poetry for Cindy?"

Bob: "Sure."

Master Mospheiran: "Really? You don’t seem the type."

Bob: "I guess I’m not. It wasn’t very good. "Yes indeedy, you’re my sweetie." It was the best I could come up with."

Master Mospheiran: (laughs) "What did Cindy say to that?"

Bob: "She told me to shut up and do something more, uh, practical."

Master Mospheiran laughs again.

Bob: "Hey, look who’s here. Hey, Algie, how’s hydroponics?"

Algie comes over to their table.

Algie: "It’s great. I love it."

Master Mospheiran: "So, do you work with those, you know, that slimy green plant that grows in water? Like seaweed?"

Algie: "That’s moss."

Master Mospheiran: "Moss grows in water?"

Algie: (frowns) "I don’t think he grows, exactly. He gets pretty wet, though."

Master Mospheiran: "Oh, you mean Pete."

Algie: "You know him?"

Master Mospheiran: "I never even knew he existed until this very moment."

Algie: "Wow. You are, like, so deep. It’s amazing. How did you know his name?"

Master Mospheiran: "I can’t explain it, Algie, I just did."

Bob: "So what are you working on?"

Algie: "I’m working with tomatoes. It’s really cool. Of course, security’s pretty heavy there, but that’s okay."

Bob: "Why would security be heavy around the tomatoes?"

Algie: "Well, for one thing, that’s all the tomatoes on the station. And for another, you can make quite a lot selling the greens."

Master Mospheiran: "Tomato greens?"

Algie: "Yeah. Atevi are crazy about them. Can’t get them on the mainland. And humans can’t eat them. Alkaloids. At least, that’s what Dr. Nettles told me. We’ve got a deal with Lord Geigi’s cook, and we sell some to the atevi on the station. You know, legitimately. But there’s never enough to really go around."

Bob: "Huh. Imagine that."

Algie: "Potatoes, too. Any atevi on the station who can get their hands on a piece of potato can start it growing in a jar. I hear it’s quite a delicacy. But it’s not as easy to grow tomatoes in your quarters, see. Of course, you can do it if you’re determined. But station administration tries to keep tabs on that as much as possible--we don’t want anything escaping down to the mainland."

Master Mospheiran: "No, I can see that."

Algie: "Well, I’ve got to get going--I just stopped in for a few minutes, I have a date."

Master Mospheiran: "With Ms. Plant?"

Algie blushes.

Algie: "No, Fern’s....not my type. Besides, I think Moss has a thing for her. So I wouldn’t, you know, even if she were."

Bob: "Yeah, I guess then Moss would be green with envy, wouldn’t he?"

Algie: "Yeah, I think he would, and I wouldn’t want to do that to him. He’s a good guy. I kind of wish Fern would leave me alone, and give him a chance."

Master Mospheiran: "He should stop being such a wallflower, and let her know he’s interested."

Algie: "Yeah, he should. I’ve told him, but you know how that is."

Master Mospheiran: "Well, you don’t want to be late. I’m glad to hear you’re settling in to your new job, though."

Algie: "I love it. Thank you so much for the advice. The moment I walked in, it was like I was at home. Even Dr. Nettles commented on it. She looked at my transfer application, and she said, "Algernon Farmer, eh? Somehow I’ve got a feeling you belong here." Right off the bat. It was completely amazing. I have no idea how you know things like that."

Master Mospheiran: "Just lucky, I guess. How’d you get those tomato greens past security?"

Algie: "Well, see, they don’t look in your.....Hey! How do you do that?"

Master Mospheiran: "You don’t want to be late--have a good time."

Algie: "Hey, yeah, I’m running behind. See you!"

Algie exits the bar.

Bob: "One of these days, you’re going to be talking to Algie and I’m going to choke to death."

Master Mospheiran laughs.

Bob: "And Hydroponics sounds like a regular soap opera."

Master Mospheiran suddenly stops eating and blinks a few times.

Bob: "What’s wrong?"

Master Mospheiran: "Nothing’s wrong. I have an idea. Are you finished?"

Bob: "Pretty much."

Master Mospheiran: "Good. Let’s head home, and I’ll tell you about it. "

Bob: "This should be good."

Master Mospheiran: "It might just be vodka and lack of sleep. Then again, it might work."

Bob: "Only one way to find out."

Master Mospheiran and Bob clear their places, gather their things, and exit the bar, leaving the other patrons to finish their drinks.